Gimme a G! Gimme a 20!

Toronto is in the midst of a peculiarly Torontonian melt-down. This city is to host the G20 meeting at the end of June. After spouting off for months about how this proves we are a 'world standard city', the place is now hitting panic mode and getting set to flee for the hills.
Hundreds of politicians, aides, reporters, lackeys and other various hangers-on are set to descend on the downtown core on the weekend - yes, weekend - of June 26 and 27. 
So what's everyone doing? FREAKING OUT!!!! The national trains have announced they will skip town, the fancy art gallery is closing its doors, theatre productions are canceled, massive fences are being erected around a great chunk of the city core, and there was discussion of removing thousands of bicycle locks from downtown streets lest they be uprooted from the concrete and used as weapons (or, heaven forbid, have bicycles locked to them). Meanwhile, the 'official protest site' keeps getting moved about, and at this rate will end up somewhere just shy of the Arctic circle. 
As a non-native Torontonian, I am greatly amused by all of it. Toronto swaggers about, one thumb draped oh-so-casually from its belt loop, peering out from its mirrored shades to see what the rest of the world makes of its studied nonchalance and perfectly unperfect coif. But after telling the world about its massive June house party, the threat of gate crashers has everyone running for cover. 
So much will be barricaded, closed or crippled by the city-wide klaxon instructing residents to avoid the downtown that our guests will likely step outside their hotels, see a few tumbleweeds bounce by, and wonder how anyone can possibly live in such a wasteland of civilization.


To anyone who's coming to the big G20 gab-and-pic-fest, I assure you this is a cool town. It's just got a massive confidence problem, and desperate need to be liked. Give it a little encouragement, and it'll open right up.
To the people who'll actually be here throughout, bloody toughen up already! Yes, a few glasses might get broken at the mega nerd house party, but that doesn't mean you should cancel the whole shindig. Just find a bloody dustpan, keep it handy and party on!