Forget Space Mountain and Harry Potter World. If you want a real adventure while in the clutches of Disney World in Orlando, Florida, just try using public transport.
Having submitted myself to the obligatory visit to Main Street USA at the Magic Kingdom, I decided to spend the following day visiting downtown Orlando.
I was driven largely by curiosity: While Orlando is the most visited city in the US, very few people actually go anywhere near the city, choosing to bypass it en route to the endless, flat sprawl of theme parks and hotels that surrounds Orlando like albumen around a fried egg yolk.
A friend had suggested I check out Urban ReThink, so with that as my destination, I set out to catch the bus.What follows is my notes from the adventure.
Distance: 32.7km
Driving time according to GoogleMaps: 26 minutes.
12:33pm: Get on Disney shuttle at hotel, and arrive 14 minutes later at Downtown Disney, an outdoor mall that offers more Disney than downtown. GoogleMap directions provided by the concierge say it's a 2 minute walk to the bus stop for the #50 Magic Kingdom/Orlando bus. I head around the Cirque du Soleil building and walk through the massive carpark back to the road the bus just travelled.
12:55pm: Trudging beside a four-lane road busy with Disney buses, hotel shuttles, and cars. There's no footpath, so I alternate between scratchy grass and the periphery of the parking lot. Naturally, the #50 goes past, marked "Magic Kingdom". It's hot. This isn't magical.
1:13pm: The alleged 2 minute walk actually takes 24, because the shuttle drop-off is on the opposite side of the mall. It's been 40 minutes and I haven't even started the hour long bus transit. Abort?
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| The bus stop on the left |
1:22pm: Just realised I'm waiting on the wrong side of the road. There are no signs to indicate what direction the buses are going - the wee sign just says #50 - and the bus just went past again marked 'Magic Kingdom'. I finally realise the name of the busline is the two opposite destinations, and I need to be going the other way. Goddamn. Abort??
1:26pm: As I'm standing at the traffic lights waiting to cross the intersection to the correct bus stop, naturally, the #50 comes. If the lights change and the bus is caught on a red, I think, I'll go ahead and catch it. If the light stays green, and the bus proceeds through, then I will take is as a sign from above and decline the option of waiting another half hour in the beating sun for the next one.
The light holds. The bus leaves. I head back into Disney.
Epic fail.
Afterthought: Dare I walk back to the hotel???
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Escape from DisneyTraz, Part II - The Long Walk Home
2:40pm: The return hotel shuttle leaves at 3:40. I could stay and walk around the mall, or walk home. Given the futility of the day thus far, I compound my errors and aim for adventure. Walking it is.
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| My feet at the start, totally ill-shod. |
2:46pm: I hit my first challenge - a massive intersection with no crosswalks - only to face the second: There are no footpaths. Or shade.
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| Cross-walkless gauntlet, conquered. |
2:53pm: WIN! A massive blue heron is in a creek, totally unseen by passing traffic. I stop to take a pic, standing on a two-foot ledge beside rushing cars. One honks, and I jump, thankfully not into the oncoming traffic. I wait for a gap in the traffic then speed-walk/jog down the roadside to reach grass again.
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| That's Mr. Heron to you. |
2:56pm: An overpass looms ahead. Is it too much to think they'll provide some kind of flat surface to walk on?
3:05pm: Reach the Bonnet Creek Resort entrance, having dashed across two highway on-ramps. The entrance is decoratively designed with large rocks and such. Wearing flip-flops was not so great an idea.
3:07pm: A footpath! Only on one side of the road though: I'm guessing because that's the side the staff would walk down to be picked up. Heaven forbid they wait near the hotels.
3:16pm: A footpath begins on the other side, and I cross the street to catch some of the scant shade.
3:18pm: WIN! Find a golf ball.
3:19pm: And another!
3:19 and a half: And another!
3:20pm: Okay, this is the last one I pick up. How bad are these golfers?
3:21pm: Hilton comes into view. Still a long way to go.
3:21 and a half: Just discovered this isn't a footpath at all. It's an access path to the golf course, made for buggies and the like. As I can't walk along the path during play hours, I have to turn around and run the gauntlet of traffic to reach the hotel. NOTE: Cars really speed along here. :(
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| The elusive buggy path... |
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| ...and the shitty pedestrian option. |
3:31pm: FINALLY! I get to the side gate of the hotel so I can enter via the pool, and discover the hotel has bike racks. Who knew?
3:32pm: DAMMIT! Side gate is locked. To the front it is. Still, at least I beat the shuttle.
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| My filthy, sunburned feet at the journey's end. |
