And they're off!

It's election time here in Canada, and I have the pleasure (and, at times, pain, depending on the politicians) of watching it all unfold from outside a newsroom. As a resident of Canada, but not a citizen, I'm not allowed to vote. So I figure that makes me the perfect guide through the quirky theme park that is ElectionLand Canada. Stay tuned - it's only open until May 2.

In the blue corner we have inveterate minority ruler Stephen Harper, aching to finally get more than half the vote. Heck, even half the seats would be nice.

In the red corner, we have Michal Ignatieff, an egghead and former professor whose barbecue bus tour last summer managed to make him seem, um, like an egghead former professor making a big effort to connect with real people. He won over the press, but that's likely because most of them don't understand normal people either.

And in the other three corners of this pentagon-ring, we have Jack Layton and the New Democrats (does that sound like a band name or what?), the Greens (the sports bra of politics: Lots of support, little to show for it), and the Bloc Quebecois, which really only cares about one province (guess which one? Bet you can't...), only fields candidates in that province, and generally likes to play spoiler a lot in parliament while quietly propping up the governments they claim to despise.

The writ was dropped last Friday, and the weekend produced lots of hubbub, but really, most people around here were too busy looking out the window and wondering why we still have a foot of snow on the ground at the end of March. (We'll get interested in a Spring election when it actually starts to feel like Spring.)

Still, this is my cranky-because-I-can't-vote-but-secretly-happy-I-don't-have-to-choose-from-this-sorry-lot report card on yesterday's events:

RIGHTO: Michael Ignatieff was actually discussing policy. The Liberals went hard on student funding, but I'd like to see how that funding would be dispensed. More college/university places? Only if they're used to do something other than push more kids into paths they're either not good enough or not interested enough to warrant. I have enough misplaced students in the class I teach, and there's only five of 'em in the course.

MEH: Jack Layton was in town (Kitchener), discussing the tough times of small business. Yup. Got that. Nice of you to buy a couple of shirts from your photo-op stop though. Points for that.

WHAT THE??: Stephen Harper, who continued his 'Look, I promise I'm not a robot!' series of photo opps by standing next to (and what's that? Singing with? Save us now...) that kid who sings Lady Gaga songs really well. Really, Steve, how many of your hard-core supporters like listening to Gaga's 'lesbian transgendered life'? 

(Note: Harper spent the weekend warning about democracy-killing coalitions. Here's a heads-up for you, mate: Coalitions are democratic. They're actually more democratic, because they involve co-operation among parties elected by the people. Spell that with me. "C-O-O-P-E-R..." Oh never mind.)

BOO!: The bloody consortium of broadcasters that televises the leaders' debates has excluded Greens leader Elizabeth May because her party doesn't have a seat in parliament. The party gained 6.8 per cent of the primary vote last time. That may not seem huge, but remember, Harper formed government with just 37.6 per cent of the primary vote and the Bloc was the third party with just 10 per cent.

It's not a lack of support that is keeping the Greens out - it's the parliamentary first-past-the-post system that is used here in Canada.  If you want a truly representative democracy, get this woman in the debates and get yourselves a bloody decent electoral system.

Harrumph.

This is from SavageChickens, and was dedicated to the 2005 election campaign. Not much has changed...